Ever been in the middle of Central Park in autumn and saw a gleam in the eye of the sad, disillusioned boy with dark hair with whom you were spending time, twinkling with wonder and inspiration from that witty thing you just said, or spontaneous thing you just did? Did you go home that night after he confessed his feelings to you (but you weren’t even paying attention because you were too busy daydreaming!) and wonder to yourself, “Am I his Manic Pixie Dream Girl?” Well, you’ve certainly come to the right place! Here’s a checklist to help you figure it out:
- You love indie music, and you often choose to listen to said music through large, clunky headphones that assert your coolness and indieness.
- You often dye your hair random colors with no explanation other than “you felt like it.”
- You have very little use for material objects (other than your extensive, colorful wardrobe) and find people who prioritize their careers and finances dull and tedious.
- You have often run through a field in the rain, your arms outstretched, ignoring the fact that you were soaking wet and that there were many incredulous eyes on you, in favor of living in the sheer beauty of this moment.
- You are white.
- You are vaguely ethnic and/or foreign, which is why you find so much wonder in what we boring Americans otherwise consider mundane, thereby helping to shift our perspective on life.
- You are petite.
- You tend to giggle.
- You’re not “like other girls” even though you only ever present yourself as a hyper-feminine doll.
- Your sardonic attitude forces your potential romantic partner to better himself for you.
- You don’t “do relationships.”
- You have no interiority of your own, and are simply a mish-mash of traits that appeal to a certain demographic of white men, likely in nihilistic slumps with a tendency to view women as objects or catalysts for their own personal growth.
- Your primary interest outside of the man you are “kinda seeing at the moment” is your favorite band. They really get you.
If you checked off more than 7 on this list, it is very likely that you are a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. If so, maybe stop listening to male indie bands, and instead check out Fiona Apple. If you checked off fewer than 6 on this list, then you are probably not a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Congratulations! You probably have a personality outside of the people you know and the handful of interests you possess. And if you’re in that confusing range between 6 and 7, it’s because you were written by a male screenwriter who got some constructive criticism from his female friends, and really is trying his best, but he still can’t conceive of women having realistic flaws– you know, like people do. Hope this helps. I’m gonna go run through a field now!